Supporting Kids During the Holiday Hustle: A Guide for Parents and Co-Parents

The holidays can be a magical time filled with lights, laughter, and lasting memories — but they can also be stressful, especially for families juggling co-parenting schedules, travel, and changing routines.

For children, these transitions can bring excitement and joy, but also uncertainty and big emotions. The good news? With a little communication, flexibility, and empathy, parents and co-parents can help make the season smoother and more meaningful for everyone.

1.     Keep Consistency Where It Counts

Children feel safest when they know what to expect. While it’s not always possible to keep every routine the same, maintaining familiar anchors — like bedtime rituals, meal times, or morning check-ins — can help kids stay grounded, even if they’re moving between homes.

If you and your co-parent can align on a few key routines (for example, bedtime or screen-time limits), it gives your child a sense of stability across both households.

2.     Communicate and Plan Ahead

Holiday schedules can get complicated fast. Share calendars early and talk through travel dates, family gatherings, and school breaks before the season gets busy.

When parents are on the same page, children pick up on that calm. If plans change — and they often do — keep communication respectful and child-focused: “Let’s figure out what works best for _______ so they can enjoy both families.”

3.     Prepare Children for Transitions

Switching homes or routines during the holidays can be emotional for kids. Help them anticipate what’s coming:

“You’ll spend Christmas Eve with Dad and then Christmas morning with Mom. Both houses will have special traditions — and we’ll make sure you get time to relax, too.”

Giving them a clear picture reduces anxiety and allows them to look forward to the time with each parent.

4.     Acknowledge Big Feelings

Even in joyful moments, kids may feel sadness, worry, or guilt about missing one parent or leaving a familiar space. Let them know it’s okay to have mixed emotions. In response to mixed emotions, try “It sounds like you are feeling ______, and that is okay. You can miss mom/dad and still have fun here. And, you can always call them if you want to check in.”

When children feel seen and heard, emotional regulation and resiliency grow.

5.     Prioritize Quality Time Over Perfection

It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to make “your” holiday time extra special — but kids don’t need extravagance; they need connection. Simple traditions like baking cookies, watching a movie, or making ornaments together mean far more than perfectly wrapped gifts or packed schedules. Focus on presence, not performance.

6.     Model Respectful Co-Parenting

Children watch how their parents interact — especially during high-stress times. Keeping communication polite and child-centered sends a powerful message: that both parents can work as a team, even if they live separately. Avoid venting frustrations about your co-parent in front of your child. A calm, cooperative tone helps your child feel loved by both sides.

7.     Build in Downtime

Holiday overstimulation is real. Between family gatherings, travel, and changing homes, kids need quiet time to reset. Encourage rest days, pajamas-all-morning mornings, or cozy evenings with no plans.

Downtime helps them recharge emotionally — and gives everyone space to breathe.

8.     Create Shared Traditions (If Possible)

If your co-parenting relationship allows, find small ways to create consistency across both homes — perhaps the same bedtime story, a shared advent calendar, or letting your child FaceTime the other parent on a special day. These gestures remind kids that love and family remain connected, even across two households.

Final thought:

The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be peaceful. By staying flexible, communicating openly, and focusing on your child’s emotional needs, you can create a sense of warmth and belonging — no matter where the season takes you. Your child may not remember the gifts or the schedule, but they will remember how loved and supported they felt.